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Inside LOVING WHO I AM |
PART 1 - The Work
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7. Anger
How many of us have lost our temper, not understanding why or how it came about and afterwards regretting such a reaction? What is anger? It is unspoken, suppressed emotions that we have not been able to articulate. At one particular moment we are triggered, these emotions surface and are finally expressed as a great and often uncontrollable force.
Why do we get angry? There are many reasons: trying to overcompensate for lack of self worth, standing up and imposing our view through force, or by grasping at power when we feel in a situation of complete powerlessness. We get angry when we feel we are not being heard or listened to, that our needs are not being met and when we are not allowed to speak or we feel unaccepted. Anger might occur when expectations about us seem too high and that we are unable to fulfill. Or, we are given far too much responsibility to cope with leading to feelings of ineffectiveness and frustration. Anger, therefore is a time bomb waiting to explode. (...)
-"Loving Who I Am: A journey to the heart", pages 40-41
7. Anger
How many of us have lost our temper, not understanding why or how it came about and afterwards regretting such a reaction? What is anger? It is unspoken, suppressed emotions that we have not been able to articulate. At one particular moment we are triggered, these emotions surface and are finally expressed as a great and often uncontrollable force.
Why do we get angry? There are many reasons: trying to overcompensate for lack of self worth, standing up and imposing our view through force, or by grasping at power when we feel in a situation of complete powerlessness. We get angry when we feel we are not being heard or listened to, that our needs are not being met and when we are not allowed to speak or we feel unaccepted. Anger might occur when expectations about us seem too high and that we are unable to fulfill. Or, we are given far too much responsibility to cope with leading to feelings of ineffectiveness and frustration. Anger, therefore is a time bomb waiting to explode. (...)
-"Loving Who I Am: A journey to the heart", pages 40-41
PART 4 - Cultivating Self
Cultivating self is the process of re-sculpturing your new found self and rewriting your story. Part four is where you acquire tools and abilities to create and design your life anew.
1. Stepping into the unknown
When you start to reshape some of your dysfunctional behaviors and erase others this means your world has begun to change. So what happens now? You ex your muscles and see what it is like to use this new toolbox you have just discovered and put together. There might be moments when you fall back into old patterns, but this will happen less and less, because you know what is running the story and you know what happens when you go there. You are now more conscious and have chosen these new ways of being, that when integrated will create a whole new life.
What you are manifesting means stepping into the unknown. When you try out a new behavior you have no way of knowing what will occur. Perhaps you have tried something similar before but it was done piecemeal, without any real plan. Here you have a holistically structured framework with which to work. This time you will be more successful. That being said making any change means you are now living on an edge. For some of you, this state can be exhilarating, for others terrifying. You will only know what might happen once you try. This is where you can easily resort to your old ways because the fear of the unknown may hold you back. However, you have come this far. What do you have to lose? Actually you have a lot to lose. Not walking forward into the unknown means you stay in a state of limbo, not wanting to be where you once were, yet afraid to go forward. Therefore, stepping into the unknown demands a leap of faith and taking a risk. (...)
-"Loving Who I Am: A journey to the heart", pages 103-104
1. Stepping into the unknown
When you start to reshape some of your dysfunctional behaviors and erase others this means your world has begun to change. So what happens now? You ex your muscles and see what it is like to use this new toolbox you have just discovered and put together. There might be moments when you fall back into old patterns, but this will happen less and less, because you know what is running the story and you know what happens when you go there. You are now more conscious and have chosen these new ways of being, that when integrated will create a whole new life.
What you are manifesting means stepping into the unknown. When you try out a new behavior you have no way of knowing what will occur. Perhaps you have tried something similar before but it was done piecemeal, without any real plan. Here you have a holistically structured framework with which to work. This time you will be more successful. That being said making any change means you are now living on an edge. For some of you, this state can be exhilarating, for others terrifying. You will only know what might happen once you try. This is where you can easily resort to your old ways because the fear of the unknown may hold you back. However, you have come this far. What do you have to lose? Actually you have a lot to lose. Not walking forward into the unknown means you stay in a state of limbo, not wanting to be where you once were, yet afraid to go forward. Therefore, stepping into the unknown demands a leap of faith and taking a risk. (...)
-"Loving Who I Am: A journey to the heart", pages 103-104
PART 5 - Loving Who I Am
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2. Healing your heart
Healing the heart is about taking a great leap beyond who you have been and who you thought you were. It gives you an opportunity to touch and merge with who you truly are. Healing the heart implies taking off the armoring you have been carrying around. This protective mantle created over the years through necessity that you now no longer need.
EXERCISE 31
Healing your heart
Your personal history and background makes you hardwired to react in particular ways in certain situations and to certain people. The practice here is to get out of your head, because this is where your automatic conditioned responses lie and to drop into your heart. Shifting from the head to the heart is when the real healing happens. Practice this exercise on a regular basis: once a day, once a week over a period of one year. The more you practice this exercise the easier it will be to drop into your heart. Eventually this will become your new response.
Healing the heart allows you to let go of your habitual and automatic responses, your old self. You can step out anew with more inner strength and confidence, creating a life for yourself from your heart space.
-"Loving Who I Am: A journey to the heart", pages 157-158
2. Healing your heart
Healing the heart is about taking a great leap beyond who you have been and who you thought you were. It gives you an opportunity to touch and merge with who you truly are. Healing the heart implies taking off the armoring you have been carrying around. This protective mantle created over the years through necessity that you now no longer need.
EXERCISE 31
Healing your heart
Your personal history and background makes you hardwired to react in particular ways in certain situations and to certain people. The practice here is to get out of your head, because this is where your automatic conditioned responses lie and to drop into your heart. Shifting from the head to the heart is when the real healing happens. Practice this exercise on a regular basis: once a day, once a week over a period of one year. The more you practice this exercise the easier it will be to drop into your heart. Eventually this will become your new response.
- You find yourself in a situation where you are being triggered. Someone is saying or doing something that is touching a wounded place inside of you, and you are beginning to react or get emotional.
- Focus on your breath.
- Observe yourself, the situation and what is happening. (Refer to Exercise 17: Allowing the Emotions to Flow, page 92)
- Become aware of your automatic responses and reactions.
- Instead of following through with old patterns, drop into your heart space.
- Stay in your heart, for a few seconds. The longer you can stay in your heart the more healing happens.
- You have now shifted your energy and focus from your head to your heart.
- Become aware of how you feel.
- From this place of being in your heart, ask yourself, do i need to respond? Do i need to speak my truth? Do i need to apologize? Or do i just need to leave?
Healing the heart allows you to let go of your habitual and automatic responses, your old self. You can step out anew with more inner strength and confidence, creating a life for yourself from your heart space.
-"Loving Who I Am: A journey to the heart", pages 157-158
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